How to discipline can be a big subject. There are differing opinions. Perspectives on discipline change as children grow. If you’re looking for something simple and unchanging, discipline as teaching is the way. Discipline is teaching your child good behavior. It is shaping and directing, teaching what is right and good. It is loving guidance.  

Parents are always teaching. Everything you do as parents teaches your child something. You teach your child how to eat, how to play, how to back down stairs. You teach him manners, how to socialize, how to manage emotions. You teach safety rules, family rules. When you decide on the behavior you can’t allow and stick to your guns, you teach what you expect. Being consistent informs your child, enables him to do the right thing.  

Children want to please. Here are some ways to help them:

• Set the conditions that help toddlers succeed, allow them to choose from 2 acceptable choices.
• Control the area to make it easier for impulse acting toddlers to control themselves. e.g. keep untouchables out of reach
• Make limits clear by physically directing them until they can direct themselves.
• Get on eye level when communicating. Focus toddler on what you’re saying with eye contact and touch. “Connect before you direct”.
• Give clear, simple, Authoritive instructions.
• Be realistic in your expectations.
• Teach by making learning fun. Instruct with song, humor, affection.
• Make straightforward direction powerful with a hug or smile. “Love before you correct”.
• Display positive reactions to encourage positive self-views in preschoolers.
• Explain what you expect. Provide the understanding and reasons to self motivate young children lacking the perspective of experience.
• Suggest solutions for misbehavior.
• Try the ‘when you __ then you can __’ sentence.
• Appeal for their help.
• Model good behavior. Children go by what they see, then what they hear. Actions and attitudes count more than words.
• Make a big kid say he is sorry. It's important to make sure he understands what he did. Gently remind him of the wrong, if he’s angry, full of tears, forgets--then move on.
• Praise behavior well done. Encourage    

 

Guiding behavior is easiest in a loving, mutually responsive relationship. Right relationship is more important than what you do. Knowing your child informs you to limits needed as he grows. It allows you to guide him and to keep him in check. Studies show that a close, positive, reciprocal, and mutually responsive relationship between mother and child in the early years of life creates the need for less parental control and children who are more obedient, who internalize maternal values and rules*. Knowing your child allows for the fact that character can’t be controlled; allows you to shape the positives, direct the negative.  

Discipline as teaching is an ongoing action. Teaching discipline “helps your child develop inner controls that last a lifetime”. It will surprise you with an awesome well-behaved child. 
 

References

Activated Magazine Online www.activated.org

Babycenter.com

Quotes, quoted from Askdrsears.com

*Grazyna Kochanska & Kathleen T. Murray Child Development Vol. 71 Issue 2, p. 417 - 431 

Mommy Quotes/ facts to consider alongside article:

A child learns more than half of all he knows by age 5.

"A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's."  Diana, Princess of Wales

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much."  Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

"If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent." Bette Davis